April 16, 2010
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CHINCUALES
“The word chincuales, said Augusto Guerra, like all words in the Mexican tongue, has a number of senses. First, it means flea or bedbug bites, those little red welts, you know? The bites itch, and the poor victims can’t stop scratching, as you can readily imagine. Hence the second meaning, which is restless people who squirm and scratch and can’t sit still, to the discomfort of anyone who’s forced to watch them. [. . .] Related to this is the final sense, call it the Guerrist sense, which applies to a certain class of traveler, to adventurers of the mind, those who can’t keep still mentally.”
- From 2666, by Robert Bolano
Tonight, I fit all three senses of that strange new word. The newest batch of mosquitoes to visit our back yard has taken a liking to the taste of my blood. I itch and squirm and in general feel no relief from the terror contained in all those tiny bites. Worse yet, even though I’ve already had more than enough movement for the day, I can’t seem to sit still. I wander the house, the yard, the street, like a lost animal searching for food or affection or a buried treasure, perhaps. But I’ve none of those things in mind, of course. I just can’t be still. Nor can my mind. Mentally, I’m all over the place. Past, present and future concerns fight for frontal lobe space, and no one is winning. Can’t rest on a thought so the mental itching gets worse, with no way to relieve it in sight. In short, I’ve no idea if I’m using the word correctly, but I sure feel like one big ball of chincuales.
Anyone have a cure?
Comments (15)
What a poetic and natural way to explain a feeling...I think you interpretation is right
I certainly fit the second and third most days. *sigh* Sorry about your mosquito problems...
@youandwhosearmy - thank you!
@Agreus - thanks, those darn little beasties.
Ah, this is clever! I adore this post, and its etymological-like characteristics
But, sorry about your chincuales
@merriej - thanks! I'm sure I'll be relieved of them (all) eventually.
Sorry about how you're feeling, but I love the way you wrote about it.
My ! This feeling has been with me often and now I know what to call it! Chinculaes over takes me so often I think I'm ADHD.
@doahsdeer - Thanks, Jeff.
@GoodGuyTheBoss - Ha! Glad I'm not the only one.
I hate it when I have that inside and I need to sleep. In those moments I would give near anything for a cure. And then I hypnotize myself. If it doesn't work the first time, I do it again. The most times I have had to do is four. I wake up tired but the feeling abates during the next day's doings.
I am not sure if self hypnosis works if someone just tells you how to do it, but just in case it does, here are the instructions:
Lay comfortably on your back.
Pick a spot to star at that allows your eyes to be 1/2 to 3/4 open. (This is how the eye is when the muscles are relaxed. To close them takes muscles.)
Relax all of your muscles starting from either your head or your toes.
Imagine warmth invading each inch as you go and breath out as in a sigh as you let the muscles go limp.
When you get to your face you may have to go in smaller increments.
Your eyes will remain partially open. Blink as necessary, but you probably won't have to much.
Once your body is completely limp, keep your hazy focus on that spot and exhale.
Push as much air out as you can without exerting yourself very much.
Once all air is exhausted, breathe in as much air as you can take and as deeply as you can take it.
Hold it about 2-3 seconds and then exhale the same way you did at first pushing all the air out.
Repeat that step five times.
After the fifth time, either go where your mind has taken you already or go to a sunny beach in your mind.
On the beach there is something waiting for you a short walk away. Move towards it in your mind.
If you do not fall asleep then, and if other thoughts invade. Wake up. Move your head. Blink. Stretch.
Then do it all again and again until by the time you get to the beach, if you have not fallen to "sleep" first, you will as you walk to whatever is waiting on the sunny sand for you.
Make sure you have at least 4-5 hours to "sleep."
You may or may not actually be asleep. There are these things, beta waves, and you may be fiddling with them but not be completely/actually sleeping but in a little trance that feels and looks like sleep.
When you come out of it, you'll most likely actually go to sleep straight from the trance type state. This means that your body and mind will be tired the next day as you will not have had the actual hours of sleep that a body requires (unless you are able to schedule another 6-8 hours past the initial 4-5 spent already - if you do that, you'll wake refreshed and without the chincuales), but do not drink caffeine or take stimulants. Allow yourself to move slowly the next day. Tell people you are sleepy and tired because you will be.
Go to bed early the next night and sleep as normal.
I call it "sleep" but the trance state is more active and aware than that in the mind. However, it is blank slate territory. You may not have any thoughts at all and if you do, they will not be able to take hold for long and will dissipate. Your mind will wash them away one by one. It's like a humming of the mind and body as one. A bit more deep down the rabbit hole than meditation.
Oh yeah, make sure that you are left alone. During this state you could be very open to suggestions (analytical types are not as much but ideas can slip in and may or may not have effect later in waking hours). If you have some white noise going in the background to drown out other noises that could help keeping some bites of the mind away.
If you need to remember anything that you have not written down, do so before you attempt this as you may be too tired to remember it the next day, but I have never lost any memory for long.
OKAY! That was long! SORRY! I have to do it sometimes or I feel I will go mad. YMMV but in any event, I hope you find something to gain a bit of peace.
TheBoss up there took me to a dentist who was a hypnotist because at the time I could not have pain killers and needed work that involved nerves being drilled. It didn't work, but his hypnotist was very cool and she figured out pretty early on that it wasn't going to work, so while he was working elsewhere, she taught me the self hypnosis techniques and walked me through them. She said it would be good for any time I needed to ... I don't remember what she called it. I call it rebooting.
@Boowasborn - sounds great! Thanks, Boo! I will definitely try this.
Wait, you have mosquitos where you live? I know here in TX there are a-plenty, but...I'd think your climate would be too hot & dry?
@beautifulwolf - nope, those bastards still find a way!
My cure is to get menial and do some chore that while tedious requires some focus ( on detail ),and if it occurs at night and keeps me awake I challenge myself to a mental game.They usually involve listing words that meet criteria and the trick is to not let more then about a half a minute go by between words and the ultimate goal to see how may I can name before I find myself in a wordless void ,and then before thinking starts I pick other criteria and start over till I fall asleep..I also free associate which has a few times sparked really nice ,very tangible memories that I have long forgotten ,and then of course I can always think of book lists ,or author lists ,or place lists , or people who should not run for office lists and so on.
...tequila?...at least your mind occasionally flits upon the future...it's when it only darts between present and past that the shit hits the fan ; )
LOL I was totally going to type "tequila"- because it sounds so much nicer with the word "chincuales" than, say a Cape Cod does. But I thought I would first read the comments- and preeninggestures beat me to my punchline!
Hope the restlessness only pushes you into some kind of interesting result for all that spent energy. I sense a burst of creativity on the way... :) Lisa
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